Deep Thoughts

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Have any of you been keeping up with NieNie's recovery? I headed over there after a conversation with a twitter friend.

Her words are heartbreaking, enlightening, and motivating all at the same time. Man, that girl is incredible. As I read, I kept thinking to myself what a gift at expressing herself.

I've drawn such strength reading her blog. Personally, I always recoil while going through a difficult trial. I don't reach out and express what I am feeling. Instead I turn inward, grasping for all the strength I can muster then plow forward with my head down.

It's not until afterward that I can allow myself a voice and reflection. At best I give myself a day or two to let it sink in, process it, and make life changes before it's old news and I'm back to the grind.

I barely talked about my back surgery and recovery once I was up and around again. Only a handful of people even know the gravity of pain I experienced and the toll it took on my family. I still struggle with my weak body every day and it frustrates me.

Having the same mind, goals, and ambitions I've always had but living in a worn out body at 33 years old is unbearable at times. I'm doing my part with diet and exercise trying to squeeze out as much energy as I possibly can every day. It's terribly exhausting and maddening.

I hope to one day find my groove again. In the meantime, I'll draw on NieNie's strength and expression.

Comments

Chanda said…
You will! ;) Technically, it was supposed to take 6 months to repair right? Keep hanging in there. You really don't get enough credit for what you've gone through. You are doing great and I'm sure one day you will look back at this awful time and laugh. Well...maybe not laugh, but at least throw around a couple of good-natured cuss-words.
June 8, 2009 at 12:31 PM
donna said…
I have never really read NieNie's blog! But i will KNOW
I didn't know you had back surgery . One of my friends had back surgery a few years ago. It took her a year to recover from that.
I agree with Chanda. Take it one day at a time :)
June 8, 2009 at 3:38 PM
Tecia said…
Check out my blog. I was talking about you today :)
June 9, 2009 at 9:05 PM
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